Promtacular!

Emily & The “OH NOES, BOWS!” Series WEEKEND SPECIAL: THE FINALE! Featuring…Randy Savage?

Posted on June 25, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Bizarre Backdrops, Celebrity Prom, Hybrid Bangs, Oh Bows, Where's Your Bra?, perms | 2 Comments

Year: 1993

Sometimes prom pictures just outdo themselves.

Emily, who’s in the middle, in case you haven’t been following along in this five-part bow-saga, writes: “I clearly ROCKED the water-spout bangs. And Claire [left] clearly ROCKED the WHITE BOW AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD.”

For starters, this first finale photo is awesome for about a million reasons. It’s pretty, and the girls all look great, and this is the softer side of some of 1993′s prom-fashion contributions. You know?

But also: LOVE the construction paper and shiny stars around the photo cut-out. Is there any question this came from a teenaged girl’s scrapbook? No. There is not.

It does make me regret that I chose to focus on Emily’s bow-habit and not her man-versus-nature, classic struggle with her own bangs. But if we DO focus on her bows, I’m gonna go ahead and call the top of her dress a bow. Because that’s what it’s designed to look like.

BONUS BOW: WTG, Claire!

Figure 2:

Emily writes: “I’ve included this photo to draw attention to my hair. The bangs, again. Plus, I also paid just as much attention to the back of my hair as to the front, as evidenced by the bow THAT MY MOTHER *MADE*, in the EXACT SAME MATERIAL as the pink swatch on my dress.

Why was I still wearing bows in 1993???”

Because, Em. You somehow knew that one day, I’d start a website specifically so that I could showcase your bow-bangs battle.

Um, did your mom also make the bow on your corsage? Because I’m thinking she must have.

Now.

Dear Readers.

This is the moment you have been waiting for. I bring you…

Figure 3:

Emily finishes strong: “And finally… I don’t have any “official” photos from any of my dances, and I don’t even know if we posed in front of those delightful backdrops or not. But we didn’t need any of those muslin or star-filled backgrounds, because you know what we DID have?

Yes. The prom committee PAID a WWF wrestler to be at the prom and pose for photos.”

This is maybe the most outstanding prom photo in the history of prom photos. Because, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, Randy “Macho Man” Savage is in it. It makes no sense. It is perfect.

Lastly, I won’t count Emily’s date’s bowtie in the final bow tally, but who needs it?

FINAL BOW TALLY
Dress Bows: 5
Hair Bows: 5 (that’s one per formal)
Extra Bows: 1 specially made wrist corsage + 1 bonus bow on friend’s dress
Total: 12

I don’t know how one would keep a bangs scorecard, so I didn’t. But I’m pretty sure the bangs won the man-v-nature struggle.

Unless that was Randy Savage.

Emily & The “OH NOES, BOWS!” Series: Part 4 of 5

Posted on June 25, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Hybrid Bangs, Oh Bows, Where's Your Bra? | 2 Comments

Year: 1992

Emily writes: “My junior prom. From when I was growing out my bangs – can you tell? Thankfully, the HUGE WHITE BOW in the back detracts from my forehead.

Speaking of bows….Apparently one bow-like decoration on the front of my dress wasn’t enough; I needed two. And no bra. Sweet.”

This photo makes me LOL because, even though she is smiling brightly, I have never — not once in my life — seen Emily make this face. She looks positively pained. Like maybe the bow in her hair is so tight it’s pulling her mouth into that position.

Also: I think it’s safe to say that when it came to formal occasions, Emily had ONE preferred hairstyle, and ONE ONLY. Bangs? No bangs? It makes no difference. The top half of her hair is getting pulled back into a barrette, and that barrette is going to have a mother effing BOW on it.

Speaking of which. Bow tally: 2 on the dress + 1 in the hair + 5 previous = 8.

Bows are currently outnumbering dresses 2 to 1.

Dazed And Confused: Prom Night

Posted on April 15, 2010 by promtacular! in 1970s prom, Where's Your Bra? | 1 Comment

Year: 1976

This Flickr contributor simply labels this post: “Butch’s Prom.”

I love this photo for about 900 millionteen reasons, but I think the main reason is because this couple looks great. They look happy, and happy to be together, and perfectly pleased with their prom outfits ZOMG AS WELL THEY SHOULD BE.

This is one of those rare photos where the couple — despite being all decked out — still look exactly like themselves.

Bow tie the size of Butch’s face? Dude, totally. Is his date wearing a bra? Who cares.

Did they stay clean and sober all night? AHAHAHAHA.

But would you? If you had to exist as a teenager in a world where faux wood paneling was celebrated, where brick and dried straw jutting out of vases was the height of home fashion, and where your TV weighed as much as your car? I think not.

A Bird In The Hand…

Posted on March 29, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Aquanet!, Blame the Photographer, Going to the Chapel(?), Lace Disgrace, Mullets, Pairing With White, Where's Your Bra?, perms | 8 Comments

Year: 1986

The kind of email we looooove to receive:

Subj: He has a mullet and my chest is flatter than his.

Gwen, who blogs here, writes: This photo was taken in 1986, the night of my first prom, the night I became a woman. I am pictured here with my high school boyfriend, who I loved madly for many reasons but mostly because he was a bad boy.

I love this picture because we both look so irritated. I don’t think we were but rather that the sun was in our eyes. I can tell this was taken at his parents’ house and recently asked him whether or not he was flipping off his mom (look at his hand on my waist) because that is exactly something he would have done. Bad boy, remember? I didn’t get a straight answer. Some things never change.

The feathery, permy, white-lace dress/white-tux, bouquet goodness of this photo would be awfully good on its own. The irritated looks, possible flip-off and FIREBIRD make it exquisite.

So Happy Together

Posted on March 02, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Where's Your Bra? | 3 Comments

Year: 1983

Andy writes: A proud moment. Maybe the apex of my life. (Ed: And that was before he was featured on Promtacular!)

Now, I understand not wanting to seem too touchy-touchy in front of one’s parents, especially when you’re underage and your parents are brandishing a camera. Luckily, Andy and his date avoided that awkwardness by not only standing six inches apart, but by actually leaning away from one another. I mean, phew! They totally dodged THAT bullet. No awkwardness there!

Contrary to what this photo portrays, however, they clearly had to have spoken to each other at least once prior to this moment. How else could they have so beautifully coordinated her dress and his shirt (not to mention their feathered hair/middle parts/separated bangs)?

Basically, this photo is great in every way a prom photo can BE great: the 1983 home backdrop; her corsage the size of her face; her almost-smile, suggesting she’s either going to burst into a huge grin, or quite possibly slap someone; the doily-inspired top half of her dress, which isn’t so much low-cut as it is low-slung; and BEST of all, we have the tuxedo pockets. In? Out?

I think it’s safe to say that Andy isn’t committing to anything at Prom.