Promtacular!

Satin Camouflage

Posted on July 29, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Lace Disgrace, Oh Bows, Shine On!, Tacky Backdrops | 3 Comments

Year: 1989

In the world of lame prom backdrops, this has got to be a top contender. God only knows what that cheap blue curtain is hiding, but I kind of feel like it would have been just as unattractive without the cheap blue curtain.

I also kind of want to hug the sweetly misguided person who thought that taping construction-paper hearts with glitter borders to the curtain would make it better.

It’s not this poor girl’s fault that her dress is practically the same color AND material. I mean, obviously her dress is fancier (what with a stunning assortment of lace, brocade, bows, flowers AND ruffles). But it suffers by the inevitable curtain comparison.

For the record, I’m sorely disappointed she opted for minimal jewelry instead of gigantic teal earrings. She also perfectly dyed her shoes instead of going with eyesore white. Sigh.

Anyway.

Her date has an air of bemusement, which I admire. Like someday he’s going to look back on this photo and say, “Heeeeey.”

It does also look like possibly he had his hair cut 13 seconds before prom began. And, let’s face it: there aren’t a lot of high school boys who can (or want to) pull off a mustache. I think this may actually wins him points.

The Rainbow Connection

Posted on July 20, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Tacky Backdrops, perms | No Comments

Year: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine. Let’s Say 1991.

As I’ve pointed out before, the early 90s was a confused year for hair. Women were gently, slowly moving out of the Decade Of Perms, but not without a good fight. This girl here is Exhibit A in the “But I LIKE Perms” Department of Pre-1995. Her perm is not totally in your face, it’s not 17 miles high off her head, there are no corresponding bangs jutting out into purple-scented Aussie-spritzed waterfalls. The permed beast has been tamed.

Meanwhile our gentleman friend here has the same haircut my boyfriend had. Parted in the middle; longish all around, practically with bangs; but with shaved sides. Because why? Because the “Party in the Back” mullet stylings had become so gauche, I guess, that men decided to kill the party altogether. The only thing to do was to shave the party off. (I can’t explain the middle part/bang situation. Blame “Friends.”)

The thing I like best about this photo, perhaps OBVIOUSLY, is that it is clear this couple dressed to complement the wallpaper. Which is a thing of beauty. Notice how the swirly flower bits of her dress are echoed in the faux gold leafing of the wallpaper! Notice how his rainbow vest picks up the teal and peach in the flowers of the wallpaper border! And that one white-pink bud creeping up from behind the guy’s left shoulder? Is that not the same flower that’s on his date’s wrist?

I do believe it is.

And That Concept Is “Jersey”

Posted on June 08, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Bizarre Backdrops, Tacky Backdrops | 1 Comment

Year: 2001

Sarah, featured below, writes: “Sure enough, the Winter Formal photos from 2001 feature the same broken mirror floor. You can see I acquired some grownup fashion sense between 2001 and 2002. This date was a friend from a different school. Unfortunately, you can’t see in this photo that my date really had fangs and that I had gold glitter in my hair. Actual craft glitter. Held in with hairspray.”

I actually think that this backdrop makes more sense than the 2002 prom photo, but only if I’m forced to pick one over the other. Because let’s discuss this.

I suppose the black is because it’s winter. And, hey, nothing makes winter more fun and festive than draping everything with black.

And then I guess I get the notion of spray-painting the floral arrangement white. Perhaps we are to think it has recently snowed on them? Which would be kind of lovely except that the snow would have killed the flowers and anyway, why are flowers blooming in the middle of a snowy winter?

The Grecian half-column is a subtle touch. Especially with a giant death-vase on top of it.

I still do not understand the floor. Not even a little. Not even in winter.

But what is the white drape? Why is it cinched? What on earth is happening here? If the drape is, perhaps? maybe? possibly? supposed to represent…snow?…then cinching it makes no sense unless we are supposed to think the snow is shooting out from this couple’s midsection.

Do you suppose the design was just supposed to be “conceptual”? Visually “pleasing”?

I can’t really add much about these high-school formal outfits. Naturally, I regret that we can’t see Sarah’s hairsprayed glitter (oh, Jersey), and Sarah’s date seems to have an expression that suggests he’s resigned to the fact that the photo he’s posing for will someday appear on the internet.

White Shoe Extravaganza

Posted on June 03, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Aquanet!, Pairing With White, Tacky Backdrops, perms | 6 Comments

Year: 1983

Sarah writes: “In Canada it’s not called “prom”, at least it wasn’t in Vancouver where I went to school. We called it “Grad” and it was essentially the same thing. This picture is of me and my friends at ours, I am the one in the fuschia, one-shoulder number… man, was I pale…”

Sarah, you should know that around here we’re far less concerned with how pale you are than how anyone in the history of ever thought that carpet was an acceptable choice for what must be, essentially, a ballroom. Someone designed that carpet, and someone approved it and someone, somehwere, said YES! THAT IS THE CARPET THAT WILL MAKE THIS BALLROOM LOOK ITS SNAZZIEST.

Also, I think it should be noted that your one-arm fashion statement is comparatively bold. I mean, this is a virtual parade of 1983 styles, and I think we can fairly conclude that 1983 = Puff Arms + Cinch Waist + Free Hanging Skirt.

There is virtually no straying from this concept except for you. No lace overlay! No Little House On The Prairie pattern! No tablecloth lace! I can’t quite say your choice of color was the only brave one — because, well, that is a LOT of teal — but off-the-shoulder? Crazy! Two-tiered skirt? Wild!

Who cares about pale when you’ve got two tiers of fuscia cascading around your legs?

I’m sorry we can’t see all of your hairstyles better. That is a crying shame.

Mostly I just love the dude in the corner double-fisting the champagne(?). And since it’s 1983 and a different country, I’m going to assume that’s actual champagne, too. Because it makes me happy.

Look how longingly the girl on the far left in the pale blue stares at the glasses he’s walking away with. As though she’s about to follow him out of frame.

Nights In Blue Satin

Posted on April 17, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Bizarre Backdrops, Tacky Backdrops | 1 Comment

Year: 1999

Nearly a full decade after we left the hairsprayed perms behind, the late 90s gets after its awesome a little differently.

Emily’s dress is perfectly lovely. Emily’s date is perfectly dressed. There’s no shine, no sequins, no bows. Emily’s corsage does not look like it’s trying to eat her. Her date’s boutonniere is understated.

And yet.

Is that…does she…are those white girl cornrows?

Why yes. Yes they are.

But can we please discuss this backdrop? Aside from the randomly placed column with flowers eerily reminiscent of a funeral home’s set-up, you can’t tell me that isn’t a blue satin sheet hanging from the wall AND strewn upon the floor.

Maybe it’s just me (and, okay, whatever) but those are porn-movie sheets. Low-budget, early 80s porn-movie sheets.

Which only goes to show you: you can take the prom out of the 80s, but the 80s will find a way in. Even if they have to take the lowest road possible.