Promtacular!

State Fair O’Hara

Posted on July 21, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, 1990s Prom, Aquanet!, Backdrop FAIL, Bizarre Backdrops, Lace Disgrace, Oh Bows, On The Plantation, Pairing With White, Prom or Costume?, Shine On!, perms | No Comments

Year: Totally Doesn’t Matter.

You know. Once you get past the onslaught of this photo’s amazing Promtacular! explosions, it offers you a secret gift. I almost missed it myself until I tilted my screen just so. Oh, it’s magnificent. But let’s address the obvious first, shall we?

Her dress. Her shiny, lacy, pink Scarlett-O’Hara-meets-State-Fair dress. I don’t even– what IS that material? It is reflecting the camera flash, and not even in a satin-shiny kind of way. More like in a cellophane-shiny kind of way. Which is just utterly amazing. It’s like she wanted to look like cotton candy that she brought back from the State Fair wrapped in cellophane.

And not just cotton candy wrapped in cellophane. Cotton candy covered in a fancy, fancy napkin, wrapped in cellophane. At the State Fair.

Complete with State Fair Hair!

Because, as a gift to me from the Prom Gods, her hair is higher than her face is long. No, no. This is not me being funny. This is actually true. Get out your ruler. Measure from the bottom of her chin to the top of her head. Now measure where her bangs start to the top of her head-cascade. IS THAT NOT IMPRESSIVE?

Oh, and while I’m all-caps-ing at you, may I also ask: WHERE IN GOD’S NAME IS THIS PHOTO TAKEN?

Was their prom in “the study” on the set of the board game Clue?

Was their prom in the office of the University President?

Perhaps their prom was in the Captain’s Quarters of the Titanic?

I just…what?

It makes me feel bad for them — happy as they are — because there isn’t a single tacky streamer or fake flower or floating flower vase or Mardi Gras mask anywhere in sight. You know what there is, though? I’m certain that just off to the side, there’s a globe. And a model ship in a glass case.

Prom in the Hall of Records.

THE SECRET GIFT

Did you guess it? Do you know what it is?

This girl’s date at first looks cute and sweet and a little dorky (entirely the fault of the era-acceptable glasses), until you look closer at his hair line. Not the one along his forehead. The one along the line of OHMYGOD HIS HAIR IS AS HIGH AS HERS!!!

How does that even happen? It’s a Promtacular! miracle!

The Rainbow Connection

Posted on July 20, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Tacky Backdrops, perms | No Comments

Year: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine. Let’s Say 1991.

As I’ve pointed out before, the early 90s was a confused year for hair. Women were gently, slowly moving out of the Decade Of Perms, but not without a good fight. This girl here is Exhibit A in the “But I LIKE Perms” Department of Pre-1995. Her perm is not totally in your face, it’s not 17 miles high off her head, there are no corresponding bangs jutting out into purple-scented Aussie-spritzed waterfalls. The permed beast has been tamed.

Meanwhile our gentleman friend here has the same haircut my boyfriend had. Parted in the middle; longish all around, practically with bangs; but with shaved sides. Because why? Because the “Party in the Back” mullet stylings had become so gauche, I guess, that men decided to kill the party altogether. The only thing to do was to shave the party off. (I can’t explain the middle part/bang situation. Blame “Friends.”)

The thing I like best about this photo, perhaps OBVIOUSLY, is that it is clear this couple dressed to complement the wallpaper. Which is a thing of beauty. Notice how the swirly flower bits of her dress are echoed in the faux gold leafing of the wallpaper! Notice how his rainbow vest picks up the teal and peach in the flowers of the wallpaper border! And that one white-pink bud creeping up from behind the guy’s left shoulder? Is that not the same flower that’s on his date’s wrist?

I do believe it is.

Lonnie & Ronnie

Posted on July 19, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Feathering As A Lifestyle Choice, Mullets, perms | 2 Comments

Year: 1985

Those aren’t their real names, but let’s pretend that they are and you can figure out which is which.

I love this photo. The female half of this couple is the opposite of the tanned, salon-haired, manicured, pair-with-pearls kind of girl we’ve seen a lot of, although she is certainly no stranger to hair product. Perhaps that is why she fits so well with her date — who also hasn’t seen the sun in a few months because his band’s been too busy practicing in his uncle’s garage — who shares her haircare regime.

These kids? They love their metal. I love that both her delicate lace wrap is black, as is his boutonniere. Oh, they will consent to going formal, but they won’t give up their stick-it-to-the-man blackness!

They are to be taken seriously as rockers.

You know. Braces and all.

Emily & The “OH NOES, BOWS!” Series WEEKEND SPECIAL: THE FINALE! Featuring…Randy Savage?

Posted on June 25, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Bizarre Backdrops, Celebrity Prom, Hybrid Bangs, Oh Bows, Where's Your Bra?, perms | 2 Comments

Year: 1993

Sometimes prom pictures just outdo themselves.

Emily, who’s in the middle, in case you haven’t been following along in this five-part bow-saga, writes: “I clearly ROCKED the water-spout bangs. And Claire [left] clearly ROCKED the WHITE BOW AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD.”

For starters, this first finale photo is awesome for about a million reasons. It’s pretty, and the girls all look great, and this is the softer side of some of 1993′s prom-fashion contributions. You know?

But also: LOVE the construction paper and shiny stars around the photo cut-out. Is there any question this came from a teenaged girl’s scrapbook? No. There is not.

It does make me regret that I chose to focus on Emily’s bow-habit and not her man-versus-nature, classic struggle with her own bangs. But if we DO focus on her bows, I’m gonna go ahead and call the top of her dress a bow. Because that’s what it’s designed to look like.

BONUS BOW: WTG, Claire!

Figure 2:

Emily writes: “I’ve included this photo to draw attention to my hair. The bangs, again. Plus, I also paid just as much attention to the back of my hair as to the front, as evidenced by the bow THAT MY MOTHER *MADE*, in the EXACT SAME MATERIAL as the pink swatch on my dress.

Why was I still wearing bows in 1993???”

Because, Em. You somehow knew that one day, I’d start a website specifically so that I could showcase your bow-bangs battle.

Um, did your mom also make the bow on your corsage? Because I’m thinking she must have.

Now.

Dear Readers.

This is the moment you have been waiting for. I bring you…

Figure 3:

Emily finishes strong: “And finally… I don’t have any “official” photos from any of my dances, and I don’t even know if we posed in front of those delightful backdrops or not. But we didn’t need any of those muslin or star-filled backgrounds, because you know what we DID have?

Yes. The prom committee PAID a WWF wrestler to be at the prom and pose for photos.”

This is maybe the most outstanding prom photo in the history of prom photos. Because, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, Randy “Macho Man” Savage is in it. It makes no sense. It is perfect.

Lastly, I won’t count Emily’s date’s bowtie in the final bow tally, but who needs it?

FINAL BOW TALLY
Dress Bows: 5
Hair Bows: 5 (that’s one per formal)
Extra Bows: 1 specially made wrist corsage + 1 bonus bow on friend’s dress
Total: 12

I don’t know how one would keep a bangs scorecard, so I didn’t. But I’m pretty sure the bangs won the man-v-nature struggle.

Unless that was Randy Savage.

Emily & The “OH NOES, BOWS!” Series: Part 2 of 5

Posted on June 24, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Hybrid Bangs, Oh Bows, Shine On!, perms | 2 Comments

Year: 1990

Emily writes: “Winter formal, sophomore year. I *am* perky, aren’t I? Yet another bow…This time, one that matches my dress. Or, should I say, matches the OTHER BOWS on my sleeves that are BIGGER THAN MY HEAD. I should note that I loved this dress so much, I wore it to at least THREE different dances.

The gentleman between Jill and me is wearing – maybe – his father’s pants? Because they’re at LEAST 4 inches too long. Which is probably a better choice than the fellow at the far left of the frame… with his “formal” pants rolled ABOVE HIS ANKLES and… docksiders? Loafers? Awesome, no matter what you call them.”

I’m disappointed Emily didn’t have anything to say about her perm. Although maybe that’s what she was referring to with “perky.” The bangs especially.

Bow tally: 3 here plus 1 in previous post = 4. And counting.