Promtacular!

All Aglow

Posted on August 19, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, 1990s Prom, Aquanet!, Blame the Photographer, Hybrid Bangs, Lace Disgrace, Mullets, Shoulder Pads | 1 Comment

Year: Take a guess.

Turns out, even the world’s most beautiful and famous bloggers were young and high-banged once.

Oh. Oh, Kelly.

Let’s start by pointing out that this photo’s fuzziness actually elevates its uber-fabulous status. The fuzz looks perfectly intentional, as though someone coated the lens with Vaseline to soften the light and lines and make the image appear more romantic, misted, timeless. The way photo montages in Lifetime movies in the 80s (what? shutup) looked.

Except of course, nothing* about this image is timeless. The hairdos, the jewelry, the 300 fashion statements Kelly’s dress is making…None of these made it past what? 1994?

The Vaseline makes it hard to determine the color of Kelly’s dress, and probably that’s okay. It comes across as pink, maybe peach. Which is better than if it were simply white (where I’d then be forced to categorize this under the “Prom or Wedding?” heading).

But who cares about color when there’s so, so much lace? An entire, long-sleeved, high-necked, low-waisted bodice of nothing but lace!

That’s a Promtacular! first, kids. Legends are being made here, today.

The non-padded-but-puffed-up-shoulders are a very nice touch. They’re there to help balance the two floufy, ruffled skirt-tiers. Right?

Right. But let’s be honest about “balance.” This dress, in all its lace-tier-shoulder-puff brilliance would have swallowed a lesser girl whole. Frankly, it would have swallowed an entire lesser couple. But not Kelly and her date.

Kelly, perhaps unwittingly, took her dress as a challenge, and kicked its ass. Her hair sees her dress, and raises it. (Literally.) The style is perfect, the earrings are bold. She has made it work, like some, I dunno, genius of physics.

And — obviously — no simple, wimpy corsage would do. Instead, her date thoughtfully gave her an entire rose bush to hold.

Speaking of her date: his hair is priceless. You’d think, if you just saw a photo of Kelly, that no man could stand up to her Genius Of Physics look. And yet? He does. That one bit of bang hanging over his forehead is just the right touch.

But perhaps what makes this photo most awesome of all is this line from her date, regarding their respective heights: “If memory serves I was in fact standing on something…and I believe Kelly was bending her knees.”

Well done!

*Save for the tinsel curtains; those will find their way into prom backdrops forever.

Emily & The “OH NOES, BOWS!” Series: Part 3 of 5

Posted on June 24, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Blame the Photographer, Oh Bows, Pairing With White | 2 Comments

Year: 1991

Emily writes: “Homecoming dance. I apparently still love floral prints… And I DEEPLY regret that you cannot see my PERMED hair in this photo.

This was the “make a serious pose” photo, and instead of looking serious, I just look royally pissed. Maybe what set me off was my date’s attire: plaid jacket (also maybe his dad’s?), too-long pants, and RUNNING SHOES.”

This two-tiered floral dress is so similar to Emily’s 1989 jr. high graduation dress, it’s kind of a wonder she bothered to buy it. I’m just disappointed she’s not wearing a white blazer. Although the dark shoes + white corsage add a certain something. Frankly, I can’t believe she missed an opportunity to wear white shoes, since they’d have matched her date’s so well.

Boy, don’t they look happy!

Bow tally: You can’t see it, but you know it’s in her hair. There’s no way it’s anything but a bow up there. That makes 5 bows in 3 dresses.

Weekend Special: Our Bang

Posted on June 18, 2010 by promtacular! in 1990s Prom, Aquanet!, Blame the Photographer, Hybrid Bangs, perms | 7 Comments

Year: 1993

It’s hard to say if you’ll find this entire thing as funny as I do, because probably you don’t know my friend, Beth. But she is hilarious and this whole thing makes me laugh. She writes:

* I’m on the left (which you know but not everyone knows). I distinctly recall thinking I had on more makeup than anyone had ever worn and worriedly asking my friend Karen’s (middle) dad if my face was a different color than my neck. His response: “Should it be?”
[ed note: LOL!]
* The boys were all best friends, and they made the girls a mix tape for the big night. The limo didn’t have a tape deck in the back, so we had to ask the driver to put it in his radio and keep the screen between the cab and the back open so we wouldn’t miss a second of the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame.” It was awesome.
* Although it’s hard to tell in the picture, my dress is navy, not black. I thought this would make me stand out.

If you look at the couples from left to right, you might think, “Hey, 1993 kinda reeled it in,” right up till the third couple. Like, “Oh, Beth and her date look perfectly normal. What a lovely dress. Oh, so do Karen and her date. Hmm, are those rhinestones on her straps? Well, and then OH, HOLY PROMTACULAR! THE POOR GIRL’S DRESS EXPLODED ON HER SHOULDERS!”

And then you’d notice that not only do the dresses become increasingly Promtacular! as you go from left to right, but so do the bangs. Boys included. In height as well as volume.

Overall, I’d have to say that Beth, you look lovely (and while your face is a different color from the rest of your skin, it looks like a matter of photography-related shadows), and your date has a fine head of hair. I don’t know what he’s looking at or why it’s making him smirk, but you know what’s amazing about that? Look at his smirk, the angle of his bangs, and the angle of his bow tie. They are all exactly the same.

Karen and date also look lovely, though I’d have to venture to guess that the boy in the middle has considerably less hair today. Amirite?

Lastly, you know what I love most about Ms. Exploding Shoulders and her date? Look at the pattern of her shoulder explosion and then look at the formation of her date’s hair. IT’S LIKE THEY PLANNED IT.

The Tail End Of Prom

Posted on June 16, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Blame the Photographer, Shine On! | 1 Comment

Year: 1980s

This photo comes to us via Wendy (whose amazing photostream is here).

Her dress has all the hallmarks of an episode of I Love The 80s: black satin with white gloves, giant black-and-white bow on one shoulder…and I’m certain the shoes were a black-and-white showstopper as well.

But that’s obviously not what this photo is about. This photo is about her hair. Her short, almost-wedge cut is rather dramatic and very cool, but folks. This is our first Promtacular! tail-sighting. Wendy, in all her loveliness, has a rat tail.

AND SHE HAS BRAIDED IT. Why? One can only speculate that it’s because she’s going to prom and how else do you make a tail appropriately formal?

Yes, the tail deserves a slow clap.

And while it’s really got nothing to do with prom, I love how the angle of the photo makes it look as though Wendy’s mom has Mickey Mouse ears.

And The Snozzberries Taste Like Snozzberries!

Posted on May 24, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Blame the Photographer, Feathering As A Lifestyle Choice, Say No To Canes | 1 Comment

Year: 1980

The dapper fella featured here writes: “I had just moved [to Seattle] from Huntignton Beach…yeah. I was a sophomore and my date shocked the school by asking me. But I was hot, and this WAS Seattle, and women up there are REALLY desperate. I’m not really sure what inspired the white gloves and cane…could be that folks said I looked like Gene Wilder at the time and I was going with a Willie Wonka/Young Frankenstein look…”

You know, while I am enthralled by the Willy Wonka look — white gloves, white cane, chocolate-colored tuxedo — the magic of this photo really lies in its composition.

Someone thought it would make sense to set this lovely woman down in a small wicker chair-throne thing, which, okay, 1980, whatever. But then? Rather than put the chair-throne somewhere completely visible, the photographer decided to situate the woman behind and to the side of a sofa.

And then take a picture of half the livingroom.

Hey, so, that is a sofa, right? It’s hard to tell, but I’m pretty sure that’s a black sofa that’s been bedazzled.

Meanwhile…Did you notice this couple is sporting the exact same bangs? I mean, practically the exact same haircut, too, but the parting of the bangs is especially notable. I mean, “notable” if you get beyond the bedazzled couch.