Promtacular!

Satin Camouflage

Posted on July 29, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Lace Disgrace, Oh Bows, Shine On!, Tacky Backdrops | 3 Comments

Year: 1989

In the world of lame prom backdrops, this has got to be a top contender. God only knows what that cheap blue curtain is hiding, but I kind of feel like it would have been just as unattractive without the cheap blue curtain.

I also kind of want to hug the sweetly misguided person who thought that taping construction-paper hearts with glitter borders to the curtain would make it better.

It’s not this poor girl’s fault that her dress is practically the same color AND material. I mean, obviously her dress is fancier (what with a stunning assortment of lace, brocade, bows, flowers AND ruffles). But it suffers by the inevitable curtain comparison.

For the record, I’m sorely disappointed she opted for minimal jewelry instead of gigantic teal earrings. She also perfectly dyed her shoes instead of going with eyesore white. Sigh.

Anyway.

Her date has an air of bemusement, which I admire. Like someday he’s going to look back on this photo and say, “Heeeeey.”

It does also look like possibly he had his hair cut 13 seconds before prom began. And, let’s face it: there aren’t a lot of high school boys who can (or want to) pull off a mustache. I think this may actually wins him points.

State Fair O’Hara

Posted on July 21, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, 1990s Prom, Aquanet!, Backdrop FAIL, Bizarre Backdrops, Lace Disgrace, Oh Bows, On The Plantation, Pairing With White, Prom or Costume?, Shine On!, perms | No Comments

Year: Totally Doesn’t Matter.

You know. Once you get past the onslaught of this photo’s amazing Promtacular! explosions, it offers you a secret gift. I almost missed it myself until I tilted my screen just so. Oh, it’s magnificent. But let’s address the obvious first, shall we?

Her dress. Her shiny, lacy, pink Scarlett-O’Hara-meets-State-Fair dress. I don’t even– what IS that material? It is reflecting the camera flash, and not even in a satin-shiny kind of way. More like in a cellophane-shiny kind of way. Which is just utterly amazing. It’s like she wanted to look like cotton candy that she brought back from the State Fair wrapped in cellophane.

And not just cotton candy wrapped in cellophane. Cotton candy covered in a fancy, fancy napkin, wrapped in cellophane. At the State Fair.

Complete with State Fair Hair!

Because, as a gift to me from the Prom Gods, her hair is higher than her face is long. No, no. This is not me being funny. This is actually true. Get out your ruler. Measure from the bottom of her chin to the top of her head. Now measure where her bangs start to the top of her head-cascade. IS THAT NOT IMPRESSIVE?

Oh, and while I’m all-caps-ing at you, may I also ask: WHERE IN GOD’S NAME IS THIS PHOTO TAKEN?

Was their prom in “the study” on the set of the board game Clue?

Was their prom in the office of the University President?

Perhaps their prom was in the Captain’s Quarters of the Titanic?

I just…what?

It makes me feel bad for them — happy as they are — because there isn’t a single tacky streamer or fake flower or floating flower vase or Mardi Gras mask anywhere in sight. You know what there is, though? I’m certain that just off to the side, there’s a globe. And a model ship in a glass case.

Prom in the Hall of Records.

THE SECRET GIFT

Did you guess it? Do you know what it is?

This girl’s date at first looks cute and sweet and a little dorky (entirely the fault of the era-acceptable glasses), until you look closer at his hair line. Not the one along his forehead. The one along the line of OHMYGOD HIS HAIR IS AS HIGH AS HERS!!!

How does that even happen? It’s a Promtacular! miracle!

Prom In The Charmin Forest

Posted on June 21, 2010 by promtacular! in 1960s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Pairing With White, Shine On! | 3 Comments

Year: 1962

We’ve had far too few images from the 50s and early 60s here, which is why I’m pleased to be kicking off this week with Sue’s prom photo.

There’s nothing especially “!” about the attire featured here. Nothing about Sue’s dress or accouterments makes you wonder what she was thinking (see: any and every dress from the 80s). She looks impeccably put together, and her handsome date looks proper (if ever so slightly formal). But then, formals really were formal once, and I’m certain his militant stance — he could break into a salute at any moment — was merely his version of looking polite.

I am still a little unsure about when and wherefore bouquets were used in place of corsages. I find that very confusing because it makes Sue look more like a bridesmaid than a prom-goer.

Mostly, though, this is a lovely snapshot of a lovely couple, who doesn’t have to explain away any magenta and black lace or glitter or perms.

I’m not sure why there’s crumpled-up toilet paper stuck into the (indoor) tree(?) in the background, but I’m sure it has some sort of cultural relevance I’m just not understanding. Handy for blotting one’s lipstick, though!

Disco Stu & Stoner O’Hara

Posted on June 15, 2010 by promtacular! in 1970s prom, Backdrop FAIL, Mullets, On The Plantation, Prom or Costume? | 2 Comments

Year: 1970s

This photo was originally posted here, submitted by Cheryl. She writes, “My husband’s prom picture, ‘John & Joan,’ isn’t too bad, but don’t you just LOVE that crushed velvet jacket???”

Oh, come now, Cheryl. “Isn’t too bad” doesn’t do this masterpiece justice.

The crushed velvet — in sexy, sexy brown — is a fabulous starting point, sure. But did you happen to notice that it’s been paired with a ruffled shirt and ruffled man-hair to match? Really? You have nothing to say about the state of your husband’s hair in this photo? It’s like he’s wearing man ringlets! RINGLETS!

And now that I’ve shouted RINGLETS! at you, may I draw your attention to Joan.

Joan! She has ringlets! Like, the real kind! To go with her Scarlet O’Hara dress. Because for no reason! But what I love the most about the dress is that it’s totally in the On The Plantation style, but toned down to be 70s-appropriate. BRILLIANT! And while she has created fantastic ringlet-y curls, she’s still letting her hair fall into her face.

As for the backdrop, well. You tell me: high school or someone’s house? Either way, I love that it’s not a plain brick wall: it’s a brick wall with candles. That makes it festive and totally prom-appropriate.

Right?

Prom At The Grecian Ice Rink!

Posted on June 07, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Bizarre Backdrops, Prom or Costume? | No Comments

Year: 2002

My bloggy friend Sarah writes: “I’m not worried about blurring out his face, because the photo is so darn small. Plus, that would ruin the effect of his wearing sunglasses in our official prom photo. Unfortunately, no one in NJ could find the large size copy of this, just a wallet size that had weird smudges on it which I edited out.

I feel that my dress is not the Promtacular! part of this photo so much as my date’s getup. He and I went with a group of creatively dressed people, including another guy in a different kilt. What we were not prepared for was seeing a guy NOT from our group at prom in a kilt — in the SAME kilt. ‘He’s not even Scottish! He’s English!’ my date complained. Also, I totally wish there had been Bumpits in 2002 to complete my hairstyle.”

I don’t really know what to say here. I don’t understand any part of this.

I don’t understand why everything is adorned in white. It’s not even wedding white, either. It’s more like inspired-by-the-Parthenon white. Except, of course, for the mirrored glass the couple is standing on. Which is because why? Is this supposed to be ice? A broken mirror? (GOOD LUCK WITH LIFE AFTER GRADUATING.) Is the photographer trying to see up the prom dresses?

For real. Explain to me the cracked-ice-mirror-floor decorating decision. I dare you.

That this photo also contains a male prom-goer in a kilt wearing sunglasses — flashing us his stocking-covered leg — is merely icing on the inexplicable Weird Prom Hall Of Mirrors cake.

And yet? I, too, am sad that Sarah isn’t wearing a Bumpit.