Promtacular!

Mouthguard?

Posted on July 01, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Bizarre Backdrops, Prom or Costume? | 3 Comments

Year: 2000s

Wow. This girl’s date is way too skinny and those gloves totally don’t match her outfit.

And That Concept Is “Jersey”

Posted on June 08, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Bizarre Backdrops, Tacky Backdrops | 1 Comment

Year: 2001

Sarah, featured below, writes: “Sure enough, the Winter Formal photos from 2001 feature the same broken mirror floor. You can see I acquired some grownup fashion sense between 2001 and 2002. This date was a friend from a different school. Unfortunately, you can’t see in this photo that my date really had fangs and that I had gold glitter in my hair. Actual craft glitter. Held in with hairspray.”

I actually think that this backdrop makes more sense than the 2002 prom photo, but only if I’m forced to pick one over the other. Because let’s discuss this.

I suppose the black is because it’s winter. And, hey, nothing makes winter more fun and festive than draping everything with black.

And then I guess I get the notion of spray-painting the floral arrangement white. Perhaps we are to think it has recently snowed on them? Which would be kind of lovely except that the snow would have killed the flowers and anyway, why are flowers blooming in the middle of a snowy winter?

The Grecian half-column is a subtle touch. Especially with a giant death-vase on top of it.

I still do not understand the floor. Not even a little. Not even in winter.

But what is the white drape? Why is it cinched? What on earth is happening here? If the drape is, perhaps? maybe? possibly? supposed to represent…snow?…then cinching it makes no sense unless we are supposed to think the snow is shooting out from this couple’s midsection.

Do you suppose the design was just supposed to be “conceptual”? Visually “pleasing”?

I can’t really add much about these high-school formal outfits. Naturally, I regret that we can’t see Sarah’s hairsprayed glitter (oh, Jersey), and Sarah’s date seems to have an expression that suggests he’s resigned to the fact that the photo he’s posing for will someday appear on the internet.

Prom At The Grecian Ice Rink!

Posted on June 07, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Bizarre Backdrops, Prom or Costume? | No Comments

Year: 2002

My bloggy friend Sarah writes: “I’m not worried about blurring out his face, because the photo is so darn small. Plus, that would ruin the effect of his wearing sunglasses in our official prom photo. Unfortunately, no one in NJ could find the large size copy of this, just a wallet size that had weird smudges on it which I edited out.

I feel that my dress is not the Promtacular! part of this photo so much as my date’s getup. He and I went with a group of creatively dressed people, including another guy in a different kilt. What we were not prepared for was seeing a guy NOT from our group at prom in a kilt — in the SAME kilt. ‘He’s not even Scottish! He’s English!’ my date complained. Also, I totally wish there had been Bumpits in 2002 to complete my hairstyle.”

I don’t really know what to say here. I don’t understand any part of this.

I don’t understand why everything is adorned in white. It’s not even wedding white, either. It’s more like inspired-by-the-Parthenon white. Except, of course, for the mirrored glass the couple is standing on. Which is because why? Is this supposed to be ice? A broken mirror? (GOOD LUCK WITH LIFE AFTER GRADUATING.) Is the photographer trying to see up the prom dresses?

For real. Explain to me the cracked-ice-mirror-floor decorating decision. I dare you.

That this photo also contains a male prom-goer in a kilt wearing sunglasses — flashing us his stocking-covered leg — is merely icing on the inexplicable Weird Prom Hall Of Mirrors cake.

And yet? I, too, am sad that Sarah isn’t wearing a Bumpit.

Weekend Special: iM @ pr0m LOL

Posted on June 04, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Backdrop FAIL, Going to the Chapel(?), Shine On! | 3 Comments

Year: 2010

Thanks ever so much to reader Alisa who saw this photo online and sent it to me. Because kids today.

Sometimes I fear that today’s teenagers are too worldly and cynical and sophisticated. Apparently, not always.

But you know? This is good. It’s reassuring to know that those of us who lived through the fashion trainwrecks — AWESOME fashion trainwrecks, that is — of the 70s, 80s, and 90s will eventually be joined by teenagers of the new millennium and its subsequent decades.

There is no way that these kids won’t be made fun of by their kids. Is what I’m saying.

But let’s discuss why.

The lovely third wheel on the end is gorgeous, sure, but if you look closely I’m pretty sure that the boob part of her dress is conical. Yes, conical. Like an understated Madonna. In metallic.

Her friend in white is also lovely, but it won’t be many years before her bang-wings are officially considered ridiculous. And speaking of white dresses — the dress strap kind of looks like a bra strap and anyway I maintain that there is a fine, fine line between prom dress and I-secretly-wish-this-were-a-wedding dress.

Which is horrifying considering who her husband would then be.

“Hat turned sideways” is actually a lyric in the famed “Pants on the Ground” song and you know? I would be shocked if this dude doesn’t have boxer shorts creeping out of his tuxedo pants. Maybe they’re aquamarine colored, too. You know, to carry through the accent color.

I don’t know. There’s just something about all three of them that says, “Whatever. I really wish I was texting right now.”

P.S. Is that a luggage cart in the background? Um?

Prom Crasher EXPOSED!

Posted on May 05, 2010 by promtacular! in 2000s Prom, Big Tulle For You, Blame the Photographer, Uninvited Guests | 1 Comment

Year: 2004

We’re here to celebrate all that is magical about prom. Right? I mean, just because this photo doesn’t have a plaid tuxedo or anyone with feathered hair doesn’t mean it’s not Promtacular!

Because yes. The dress, the hair, the makeup, the girl? All gorgeous.

Ah, but Leah’s expression. So full of Prom Angst.

Could it have been her shoes? Her dress? A wedgie? Something she overheard? Something her date said? General consternation that the evening would be a total and complete disaster? Maybe she suspected her date would break up with her AT HER OWN PROM. (Apparently, he did.) (Lame.)

Or, well, maybe that wasn’t it at all.

Maaaaybe Leah was just concerned that the photos were going to be ruined by that random, wandering man in the background who didn’t seem to understand that he wasn’t invited to the pre-prom picture party. (Doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare?)

Well, don’t worry, Leah. We’re on to him.