Promtacular!

Here’s Mah Junk

Posted on March 05, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Aquanet!, Going to the Chapel(?), Lace Disgrace, Shoulder Pads | 7 Comments

Year: 1985

Lori writes: He showed up in those shorts. My mother nearly killed him.

Friends, we have a lot to discuss here.

Now, this isn’t the first tiny prom-bride we’ve featured, but this is the first tiny prom-bride we’ve had covered in so much lace. I mean, it’s quite literally as though she selected a small white dress, put it on, and decided there wasn’t enough drama, so she stuck her head through a giant lace tablecloth. And when that tablecloth couldn’t gather at the bottom AND cover her arms? She stuck her hands through the matching placemats. And then grabbed the table centerpiece and called it a day.

Not that it wasn’t entirely appropriate for 1985, but I want you to look closely at the prom-bride’s hair. Can you say for sure where her hair ends and the bush begins?

No. No, you can’t.

Her date-groom is looking mighty fine as well. It was his good fortune that a giant gust of wind caught him just as he was doing his hair.

Now, all things considered, I’d almost say Lori — aka the bridesmaid — has let Promtacular! down. The giant-ness of the ’80s is lost on her ensemble. On the other hand, her look is quintessential to the era, i.e., she could have walked off the set of Working Girl. The bouquet is a nice touch.

But mostly Lori wins here because of her date and his shorts. Shorts that MATCH HER DRESS.

Special bonus? (click “Read More” for bonus image)

On The Wings Of Love

Posted on February 25, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Shine On!, Shoulder Pads, Tacky Backdrops | 3 Comments

Year: 1980s (DUH)

Sure, his hair may have been inspired by Flock of Seagulls, but her dress actually has wings. It’s as if someone said, “Ooh! You know what would be better than shoulder pads? 800 yards of fabric folded into vertical ruffles! That would be CLASSY!”

As for the backdrop, I mean, it’s not like anything could really make the faux “we’re outside in the country” more believable. But the illusion would have been at least somewhat more realistic had the couple not been standing on a rug.

It Was So Nice Of The Cullens To Let You Use Their Home For Photos: Part II

Posted on February 25, 2010 by promtacular! in 1980s Prom, Shoulder Pads | 3 Comments

Year: 1988

Megan, featured two years later, writes: I am wearing the largest, widest shoulder pads ever created OUT OF BLACK VELVET. (Emphasis mine, not Megan’s.)

We haven’t really had an opportunity yet to discuss the concept of shoulder pads, so let’s thank Megan for providing us with one.

Having lived through the shoulder pad movement, my best explanation is that fashion designers decided women had spent far too many decades not looking like football players. And that if women would simply emphasize their shoulders while masking their breasts and making their entire upper bodies look like giant boxes, people would stop noticing the permed abominations above the neck.

(Click for more!)